This Place Sucks

So, I’m back home- no longer in the tropical paradise that is Florida in January.

I’m back home, to a suburb of NYC, a place where I have to constantly look down to make sure i’m not about to slip on ice. A place where every three days it seems to snow 10 inches. A place where my basset hounds sleep all day and then climb on top of snow drifts like mountain goats. A place where if I want to go somewhere I have to leave 20 minutes to bundle up, brush off my car, let the car warm up and then go. This place is not a good place. This place sucks.

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I had to wake them up to feed them this afternoon.

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Yeah It’s pretty…

That being said, since I arrived home I’ve been feeling the winter blues pretty badly. I can’t seem to focus on my work, I’m tired all time time, I’m constantly drinking tea to stay warm. When the sun goes down at 5 o’clock i’m done for the day. This is not productive nor is it healthy for my illustration career. This place sucks.

Of course I can’t blame my bad attitude entirely on the weather. A big part of me not accomplishing what I wish is the fact that I’m just not into it. I put a lot of pressure on myself in the beginning of this year to do all these great things. I want to write books, start an Etsy shop, promote my editorial work. It’s a lot to handle. Not to mention I have a day job, like many young illustrators, and I’m training for a marathon. What was I thinking?

I’m also going through this thing, where I see all my high school buddies getting “grown up” jobs, making big money, and I’m still working part time in a grocery store, and illustrating. I’ve read some articles about how it takes 5 years of nurturing an illustration career to get it really going. FIVE YEARS. I feel like Charlie Brown. I know I have to put my time in, it’s just sometimes I feel like “ugh! I’m doing all these things and I’m not getting any benefit from it”! I know that this too shall pass, but right now, this place sucks.

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So for now the goal is to survive this winter. I am showing at MoCCa fest in early April, so I’m channeling all my energy (what little I have) into creating whimsical wonderful things for that show. I’m planning on having two little books, one about dogs with jobs, and one called “Fun Kitchen Dance Party”, which my friends have been urging me to make for years, plus maybe 4-5 greeting cards, and maybe 1-2 prints. Again, I’m shooting for the stars here.  I’m trying to make myself happy, without feeling like a failure, no matter the weather, in the whimsical place in my head. Sometimes I go through crappy periods of not being happy with my work, I’m sure I’m not alone. I know I can pull myself out of this, it’s not my first winter, but for whatever reason, this 2014 winter is kicking my ass. So again I say, this place sucks — but not for long.

Some positive things :

# 1 – While in Florida, I went to Disney for the first time. I know people say it’s the most magical place on earth and now I know it really is. So much fun.

# 2 – I got some books via the internet from some old burned down library in Texas. The internet is amazing. Anyway, this lady, Bernice Myers, she’s illustration gold.

# 3 – Over the weekend I finished an assignment for a friend for her blog : SenseStory Perception. She hasn’t published it yet, so I can’t show it here. But it’s pretty cool.

# 4 – Valentine’s Day is approaching. It’s an aspirating stationary designers dream!

This place, is getting less sucky.

-Hannah

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